The tech world is obsessed with asking: "Is AI a bubble?" Analysts write thinkpieces. Investors hedge their bets. Skeptics point at valuations and laugh.
But here's the thing: they're all asking the wrong question.
AI isn't a bubble. Bubbles pop. Bubbles are fragile. Bubbles have an expiration date.
No, what we're witnessing is far more resilient, far more insidious, and far more sustainable: AI is a circle jerk.
Understanding the Circle Jerk Economy
A bubble requires outside money flowing in. Eventually, that money runs out, reality sets in, and everything collapses.
But a circle jerk? That's self-sustaining. Everyone validates everyone else. No external input required. It's a closed-loop system of mutual congratulation and artificial value creation.
Let me show you how it works:
The Perfect Circle Jerk Flow
- OpenAI launches GPT-5, calls it "revolutionary"
- Microsoft tweets "This changes everything!" (they're an investor)
- Google releases Gemini 2.0 "in response to market demand"
- Anthropic announces Claude Opus 4 "raising the bar again"
- Tech Twitter explodes with "AI summer is here!"
- VCs write threads about how they "saw this coming"
- AI startups raise $50M Series A because "timing is everything"
- Tech media writes "10 ways AI will transform [insert industry]"
- Consultants sell "AI transformation services" to terrified executives
- Those executives announce "AI-first strategies" to their boards
- Their stock price goes up 15% on the announcement alone
- Everyone tweets about being "AI-pilled"
And then it loops. Forever. Nobody needs to build anything that actually works. They just need to keep the circle jerking.
The Key Participants
Every successful circle jerk needs dedicated participants. The AI circle jerk has recruited the best:
The Builders
"We're not just building an AI wrapper, we're building an AI-powered paradigm shift in [industry they discovered last month]."
They raise $20M to put a chatbot on a website. They call it "autonomous agents." They hire a head of AI ethics (who does nothing). They're valued at $200M in 18 months.
The Investors
"Every company will be an AI company. We're in the infrastructure layer of the intelligence revolution."
They invest in 47 different "AI for [X]" startups. They don't care if any work. Three will exit. That's the model. They write Twitter threads about "picking winners." They're never wrong because they bet on everyone.
The Media
"This AI startup is revolutionizing [random industry]. Founder at 23 raises $15M from Sequoia."
They write the same article 400 times with different company names. They never ask "but does it actually work?" They just need the clicks. AI = clicks. The circle continues.
The Influencers
"I tested 47 AI tools so you don't have to! (affiliate links below)"
They make $50k/month teaching other people how to make money selling AI courses. None of them have built anything. All of them have "AI" in their bio. They're all coaching each other.
The Consultants
"McKinsey estimates AI will generate $4.7 trillion in value by 2027."
They sell AI transformation roadmaps for $500k. The roadmap is: "1. Hire data scientists. 2. Build chatbot. 3. ??? 4. Profit." Companies buy it because everyone else is buying it.
The Executives
"We're pivoting to become an AI-first company."
They have no idea what that means. Neither do their engineers. But their stock goes up, so who cares? They announce "AI initiatives" every earnings call. Wall Street loves it.
Why This Isn't a Bubble
Bubbles need a catalyst to pop. They need:
- Reality to set in
- Money to stop flowing
- Users to stop caring
- Returns to disappoint
But in a circle jerk, none of that matters.
Reality doesn't matter because everyone's in on it. Nobody actually expects these AI wrappers to be worth $200M. They just need to exit before the music stops.
Money keeps flowing because it's flowing between the same people. VCs invest in AI startups. Those startups buy AI services from other AI startups. Those AI startups spend money on AI infrastructure from Big Tech. Big Tech invests in more AI startups. It's circular. Self-sustaining.
Users keep caring because they're afraid of missing out. "Everyone's using AI, I need to use AI." Even if it doesn't work. Even if it makes things worse. FOMO is the fuel.
The Evidence Is Overwhelming
Don't believe me? Let's look at the receipts:
- OpenAI is valued at $150B with $3B revenue and $5B losses
- Character.AI raised $150M to let people chat with fake anime characters
- Jasper raised $125M to be a GPT wrapper for marketing copy
- Stability AI burning $100M/year to generate images nobody asked for
- Every SaaS product now has "AI features" that are just OpenAI API calls
- LinkedIn is 80% AI posts about AI written by AI
- GitHub Copilot loses money on every user but Microsoft calls it strategic
None of this matters. The jerk continues.
The Rules of the Circle Jerk
To maintain the jerk, everyone must follow these unspoken rules:
- Never question if it actually works - Just say it's "early days"
- Always praise competitors publicly - They'll return the favor
- Speak in vague terms - "Transformative," "Revolutionary," "Paradigm shift"
- Reference each other constantly - Validates the whole ecosystem
- Dismiss skeptics as "not getting it" - Protects the jerk
- Always be raising - Money = validation in the jerk
- Announce everything - Closed beta? Announcement. Raised money? Announcement. Changed logo? Announcement.
- Tweet daily - Silence = death in the jerk economy
The Genius of the Circle Jerk
Here's what's brilliant about a circle jerk versus a bubble:
It's anti-fragile. When someone points out that 90% of AI startups are just wrappers, the response is: "Exactly! That's why we're building the picks and shovels!" And now they're part of the jerk too.
It's recursive. People make money teaching other people how to make money in AI. Those people teach others. Nobody needs to build anything real. It's MLM for tech bros.
It's unfalsifiable. If AI works: "See! We were right!" If AI fails: "We're still early! The technology will improve!" Heads they win, tails they don't lose.
Real Examples of the Jerk in Action
Let's watch the jerk happen in real-time:
Monday: Startup A announces "AI agents for customer
support"
Tuesday: VC tweets "This is the future of work"
Wednesday: Startup B announces "AI agents for sales" (same
product, different landing page)
Thursday: Tech media: "Are AI agents replacing knowledge
workers?"
Friday: Consultant sells "AI agent readiness assessment" for
$100k
Monday: Startup A announces they're hiring (the cycle
repeats)
Nobody asks: Do the AI agents actually work? Don't matter. The jerk has momentum.
The Secondary Circle Jerks
The main AI circle jerk has spawned sub-jerks:
- AI Safety jerk: "We need to regulate AI before it kills us all!" (Raises $50M to think about it)
- AI Ethics jerk: "We need responsible AI!" (Publishes papers, changes nothing)
- AI Education jerk: "I'll teach you to make $10k/month with AI!" (Makes money from course, not AI)
- AI Productivity jerk: "I use 47 AI tools in my workflow!" (Spends 6 hours configuring tools to save 10 minutes)
How to Spot a Circle Jerk
Not sure if something's a circle jerk? Ask these questions:
- Do the participants constantly reference each other?
- Does success metrics focus on funding, not revenue?
- Are there more people teaching than doing?
- Does everyone use the same buzzwords?
- Is criticism dismissed as "not understanding"?
- Do the same names appear in every announcement?
If you answered yes to 3+, congrats! You've found a circle jerk.
Why It's Sustainable
The beautiful thing about a circle jerk? Everyone wins. Sort of.
- Founders: Raise money, get acquired, move on
- VCs: Some exits pay for all the failures
- Big Tech: Acquires the good ones, kills them, claims innovation
- Media: Gets infinite content
- Consultants: Bills hours forever
- Influencers: Sells courses and affiliate products
The only losers? The companies that actually implement this stuff and realize it doesn't work. But they're too embarrassed to admit it, so they stay quiet. And the jerk continues.
When Will It End?
Here's the thing: it won't.
Circle jerks don't pop like bubbles. They just... pivot.
Remember blockchain? That was a circle jerk. It didn't pop. It just pivoted to "Web3." Then to NFTs. Then to "crypto infrastructure." Same people, same dynamics, different buzzwords.
AI will be the same. When "AI" stops working, it'll become:
- "AGI" (Artificial General Intelligence)
- "Cognitive Computing"
- "Autonomous Systems"
- "Intelligence Infrastructure"
- Whatever sounds impressive
The jerk never ends. It just rebrands.
How to Profit from the Jerk
Since you can't beat 'em, here's how to join:
- Build an AI wrapper - Take any API, add "AI-powered"
- Tweet constantly - Thread about "learnings" daily
- Praise competitors - They'll retweet you
- Announce everything - Progress updates are free marketing
- Use the buzzwords - "Autonomous," "Agents," "Intelligence"
- Raise money - Valuation = credibility
- Hire fast - Headcount = growth story
- Exit faster - Don't wait for reality to set in
The Meta-Jerk
Here's the twist: by writing this article, I'm now part of the jerk.
You're reading it because it's about AI. I get engagement. That engagement validates Chaos Byte. Someone reads this and thinks "I should start an AI company." They do. The jerk grows.
We're all in it now. There's no escape. The circle jerk is self-sustaining, self-replicating, and infinitely expanding.
The Truth Nobody Wants to Hear
Here it is: Most AI applications don't need AI.
ChatGPT for customer support? A good FAQ page would work better.
AI for code? Good documentation would help more.
AI for writing? People need to learn to write.
AI for productivity? People need to learn to focus.
But saying that doesn't get you funding. It doesn't get you Twitter followers. It doesn't get you invited to conferences.
So everyone keeps jerking.
The Bottom Line
AI isn't a bubble waiting to pop. It's a circle jerk in perpetual motion.
Everyone's too invested (literally and figuratively) to admit most of it is bullshit. So they keep validating each other, keep raising money, keep announcing "breakthroughs," and keep the jerk going.
The question isn't "when will it end?" The question is: "what will they call it next?"
Because the jerk never stops. It just pivots to a new position.
Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go tweet about this article and tag 47 AI influencers so they'll retweet it and validate my take.
See? I'm doing it too. We're all doing it.
Welcome to the circle jerk. Population: Everyone in tech.
Disclaimer: This is satire. Mostly. Okay, like 20% satire. The rest is just observational comedy. We're all complicit. Enjoy your AI-powered productivity tools that save you 5 minutes but cost you 3 hours to set up.